October 2011
1 post
Oct 6th
August 2011
1 post
Aug 14th
10 notes
July 2011
3 posts
Jul 29th
3 notes
Anonymous asked: are you for real about that "tug job" lol what is that anyway :P
Jul 29th
7 notes
1 tag
Jul 5th
38 notes
June 2011
7 posts
Drunk At Denny's Part II
Kara: [in reference to my burrito] Take that home.
Me: I don't wanna take it home, it makes me sick.
Kara: I'm making you do it.
Me: No, I wanna take a dump and go to sleep
Kara: You crazy little shit.
Jun 24th
10 notes
Drunk At Denny's:
Me: [spits out water]
Kara: WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Me: Nothing!
Kara: You're nauseated.
Me: No, I'm not, I swear!
Kara: YOU CRAZY BITCH, YOU ARE.
Jun 24th
7 notes
1 tag
Jun 20th
38 notes
Jun 13th
Submolecular interconnectedness fucking delights me
Jun 11th
14 notes
Jun 9th
7 notes
A message re: crazy people
I don’t mean crazy like crazy homeless people or people who have inexplicable desires to construct miniature villages out of dried toothpaste balls or what have you. I just mean like, your average joe kinda crazy. Maybe you’re asking yourself (I know you’re not—just indulge me), “Wait, ‘average’ crazy? Average means normal and normal people aren’t...
Jun 5th
47 notes
May 2011
22 posts
2 tags
WatchWatch
May 31st
May 30th
21 notes
May 29th
4,086 notes
May 29th
1 tag
May 27th
May 26th
regularlions asked: I hear you're coming to NY please let's dress up like kittens and lay in the sun in Central Park with Andrew. PLEASE.
May 26th
3 tags
WatchWatch
May 24th
42 notes
Dear handful of people trying to "reconnect" with...
It’s been a long time, hasn’t it. Real long time. Look, I don’t know how to break this to you.. Maybe I’ll just say it. Sigh. We’re not friends. Nowhere near.  Remember the last time we saw each other? It was pretty fucking weird, huh? Like, undeniably one of the weirdest interactions I’ve had with another human being, you know? I know you had to have felt...
May 20th
drop it like you just realized it's a piece of...
May 20th
May 20th
notveryraven: man, i dunno, i just wanna kiss and fuck and walk in the woods forever
May 16th
1 tag
May 15th
WatchWatch
May 12th
I get off on your ennui
May 10th
Anonymous asked: hi you're attractive bye
May 6th
Anonymous asked: virgin?
May 6th
WatchWatch
May 6th
1 tag
Sometimes I just get so freaking mad at my poop
May 5th
20 notes
thisjelly asked: omg morgan remember that vid of you karaoke-ing teenage dream? where is it, i want it. or did i make that up?
May 5th
7 notes
wait
clichez4ever: this mass reaction to osama’s death is actually freaking me out guys someone’s best friend just died
May 2nd
1 tag
May 1st
5 notes
April 2011
18 posts
1 tag
Apr 30th
15 notes
WatchWatch
butterflynet: Lolololol why did I make this
Apr 26th
Apr 26th
17 notes
“I really want to walk into a pants store in England and yell: ‘WHERE MY...”
– Janaye
Apr 25th
37 notes
1 tag
I almost cried a little because of how much I love...
Relevant: Here is a picture of a pregnancy pact founded by Natalie, Lacey and myself
Apr 22nd
Apr 21st
1 tag
Listen I struggle with words that I’ve always...
Apr 17th
2 tags
ListenI hope Will doesn’t hate me for this but...
Apr 16th
Apr 16th
24 notes
WatchWatch
I want to cry because I have a perfect friend Sorry this has a watermark
Apr 16th
2 tags
Apr 16th
39 notes
:')
New GM: I'm gonna grab dinner. Do you want anything?
Me: Really? That makes me feel like a real asshole. "Hey, we just met, buy me a meal."
New GM: Well. You are.
Apr 15th
2 tags
WatchWatch
goodnight now
Apr 13th
34 notes
Apr 4th
A daily occurrence at my job
Me (exiting the office to greet a waiting guest with a mouthful of food): Hi, sorry about that.
Guest: Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner.
Me (on the inside): It's okay, it was just a Rice Krispie Treat
Apr 4th
When I was younger I was watching the Teen Choice Awards and they had a burping contest and it made me throw up
Apr 2nd
28 notes