July 2011
1 post
1 tag
Jul 5th
51 notes
June 2011
4 posts
1 tag
Jun 20th
40 notes
Jun 13th
20 notes
Submolecular interconnectedness fucking delights me
Jun 11th
15 notes
A message re: crazy people
I don’t mean crazy like crazy homeless people or people who have inexplicable desires to construct miniature villages out of dried toothpaste balls or what have you. I just mean like, your average joe kinda crazy. Maybe you’re asking yourself (I know you’re not—just indulge me), “Wait, ‘average’ crazy? Average means normal and normal people aren’t...
Jun 5th
47 notes
May 2011
18 posts
2 tags
WatchWatch
May 31st
29 notes
May 30th
21 notes
May 29th
4,053 notes
May 29th
8 notes
May 26th
12 notes
3 tags
WatchWatch
May 24th
42 notes
Dear handful of people trying to "reconnect" with...
It’s been a long time, hasn’t it. Real long time. Look, I don’t know how to break this to you.. Maybe I’ll just say it. Sigh. We’re not friends. Nowhere near.  Remember the last time we saw each other? It was pretty fucking weird, huh? Like, undeniably one of the weirdest interactions I’ve had with another human being, you know? I know you had to have felt...
May 20th
40 notes
drop it like you just realized it's a piece of...
May 20th
7 notes
May 20th
27 notes
notveryraven: man, i dunno, i just wanna kiss and fuck and walk in the woods forever
May 16th
17 notes
1 tag
May 15th
15 notes
WatchWatch
May 12th
91 notes
Anonymous asked: hi you're attractive bye
May 6th
17 notes
Anonymous asked: virgin?
May 6th
10 notes
WatchWatch
May 6th
31 notes
1 tag
Sometimes I just get so freaking mad at my poop
May 5th
20 notes
thisjelly asked: omg morgan remember that vid of you karaoke-ing teenage dream? where is it, i want it. or did i make that up?
May 5th
7 notes
wait
clichez4ever: this mass reaction to osama’s death is actually freaking me out guys someone’s best friend just died
May 2nd
44 notes
April 2011
17 posts
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butterflynet: Lolololol why did I make this
Apr 26th
30 notes
Apr 26th
17 notes
“I really want to walk into a pants store in England and yell: ‘WHERE MY...”
– Janaye
Apr 25th
36 notes
1 tag
I almost cried a little because of how much I love...
Relevant: Here is a picture of a pregnancy pact founded by Natalie, Lacey and myself
Apr 22nd
17 notes
Apr 21st
24 notes
1 tag
Listen I struggle with words that I’ve always...
Apr 17th
14 notes
2 tags
ListenI hope Will doesn’t hate me for this but...
Apr 16th
18 notes
Apr 16th
24 notes
WatchWatch
I want to cry because I have a perfect friend Sorry this has a watermark
Apr 16th
8 notes
2 tags
Apr 16th
39 notes
:')
New GM: I'm gonna grab dinner. Do you want anything?
Me: Really? That makes me feel like a real asshole. "Hey, we just met, buy me a meal."
New GM: Well. You are.
Apr 15th
20 notes
2 tags
WatchWatch
goodnight now
Apr 13th
34 notes
Apr 4th
34 notes
A daily occurrence at my job
Me (exiting the office to greet a waiting guest with a mouthful of food): Hi, sorry about that.
Guest: Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner.
Me (on the inside): It's okay, it was just a Rice Krispie Treat
Apr 4th
18 notes
When I was younger I was watching the Teen Choice Awards and they had a burping contest and it made me throw up
Apr 2nd
28 notes
2 tags
WatchWatch
I’m a joke
Apr 2nd
54 notes
“I want.. a fuckin makeover”
– My brother
Apr 1st
21 notes
March 2011
28 posts
1 tag
Mar 31st
21 notes
1 tag
Mar 31st
33 notes
this sounds familiar
Girl: I graduate in May
Homeless woman: MY BIRTHDAY IN APRIL!
Mar 29th
17 notes
I just found some old journals and here is one of...
FART ON DICK Pink, masked fart gently, lovingly envelops dick, mask flutters gracefully onto dick THE DICK WAS THE FART THE WHOLE TIME
Mar 28th
26 notes
“I’d eat baby puke before I’d go out with you”
– David, the engineer at my job
Mar 26th
19 notes
Mar 26th
815 notes
Listen“The Only One” - The Black Keys This...
Mar 25th
15 notes
Mar 25th
231 notes
1 tag
“Why did God make me attracted to a cartoon deer?”
– Nicole James
Mar 24th
12 notes
All of my uncles gross me out
Mar 24th
14 notes