MORRRGAN

I look like Ashley Judd in Where the Heart Is

I feel weird so I drew my new phone. I think after years of refusal to commit, I have decided purple is probably my favorite color and I’m gay

Submolecular interconnectedness fucking delights me

A message re: crazy people

I don’t mean crazy like crazy homeless people or people who have inexplicable desires to construct miniature villages out of dried toothpaste balls or what have you. I just mean like, your average joe kinda crazy. Maybe you’re asking yourself (I know you’re not—just indulge me), “Wait, ‘average’ crazy? Average means normal and normal people aren’t crazy! Fuck you, you rotten witch—” Let me stop you there. Most people, in my pure, humble, virginal opinion, are crazy. Fucking nuts. I dunno why, but at the end of a conversation with your everydayer, I always have the inclination to say, “DAMN that guy was fucking nuts! Did you hear him talk about how he’s getting his idea for reusable ice cubes patented by spring 2013? KILL me,” or mere strangers who say, “Can you get me a discount?” Sigh. I’m taking this too far. Long story short, people are tainted, twitching sheep. So like, among all that shit, there are some very wonderful people, you know? The kind of people I surround myself with, the kind of people that make me feel like every positive connection is a fucking miracle for which I should be blissfully circumcising a donkeybaby amid the euphoria of my gratitude. The people who give me hope. But in my neverending search to find the most beautiful angels hidden in this Earth, I have met about 85% nutcases. Mostly people who lie pathologically and habitually, people who are so insecure it cripples them and then causes them to self-destruct and take every living, breathing thing down with them.. Now, getting to the purpose of my message. You might think your one or two “crazy” friends are harmless. Sure, they’re annoying or needy, but overall, incapable of causing significant damage. So wrong, bros. So wrong. See, CFB’s (crazy fuckin bastards) don’t have as evolved of a sense of morality as yours or mine. They do weird things impulsively and uncontrollably and they might be harmless at first, ya know, self-sabotage.. “Oh I texted my ex and told him we should fuck HAHAH I hate him, do you want to kiss me?” or maybe you catch them in little lies that you don’t understand. Why would someone lie about meeting up with your mutual friend and instead say that they had a conference with the mayor? There is no acceptable answer. No one knows the mayor. My point is that the shit gets bigger and it’ll start pissing you off more. Issues of tectonic proportions will be brewed in their big pot of fuckin’ melodramatic vegetable beef stew. How much can you stand? Will you be the Strongest Man In the World? Doubt that. Cut em off. Sever that tie dude. It’ll only strain ya. You have more important things to worry about and you know it. So anyway, to wrap this up. Be smart, go with the flow and follow your instincts. I guess unless you are a wolf in a newly remodeled home in a nice part of town, because you would make someone so, so angry with your pungent piss all soaked into their new chaise lounge